I am a 42 year old lady, thinking back it took me more than 25 years of drinking in and out of AA rooms several times. My drinking has caused havoc hurt, humiliation, financial and physical distress to myself and others. I was unwilling to accept that I am and always will be an alcoholic.
During my 20’s I thought I was invisible, the slight thought of me having a drinking problem did not ever cross my mind. Getting so many blackouts at such a young age, just did not seem normal. I was never able to keep a friend because i was an embarrassment to them and myself when i drank.
In my 30’s I tried several times to sober up, but I always failed. My best excuse for not getting sober then was that I do not have the money for rehab. I tried again I got a sponsor at AA and only phoned her when I was drunk.
My son was born when I was 35, I continued to drink. Again I joined AA. It was short lived, due to not following the program. As my son grew older, he asked me please not to drink beers or vodka anymore. I got so drunk I even passed out on top of him, while he was sleeping. I also decided to drink at home because that way I could have the black out at home rather than in the bar.
My family were always the recipients of my despicable behavior, when I drink. I really wanted to make a change I always believed in a higher power. It became crystal clear to me that in order to re-connect and grow closer to my higher power and my family – I needed to stop drinking completely. I put my long time desire to stop drinking into action and I started working at staying sober. AA is a simple program, it has worked for me and it could work for you. If you are willing to take certain steps.
I am now 10 months sober. I feel great gratitude. I have a plan. I live for one moment at a time. My life problems are still there but I deal with them. My Higher Power is in charge.
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